Energizer causes erectile dysfunction
Today a spokes person for Energizer batteries admitted in a press conference that their product has been linked to many cases of erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction or ED is when the male genitalia is no longer able to produce an erection. Many men refer to this situation as “their peeper is on the fritz”.
Energizer is scrambling to figure out the root cause of the problem, as no one has yet linked the competing Duracell brand to be causing the same problems in men world wide. A scientist at the University of Western Ontario in Canada claims that the batteries cause ED based on the frequency they verberate at.
Based on these findings by scientists, Energizer is settling thousands of court cases in the United Sates and has seen its stock price drop from an all time high of $111.58 to $24.49.
Energizer, who also owns Schick razors, announced in the same press conference that it was putting off the release of it’s new nine blade razor until it sorts out its erectile dysfunction problem. This is an unfortunate day for men everywhere as now thanks to Energizer batteries they are stuck without being able to get an erection and doomed to shave with an inferior razor that leaves their face feeling less like a babies bottom.
I guess Energizers advertising scheme of “It keeps going and going and going” was refering to your television remote and not your “penis”.
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September 24th, 2007 at 4:35 am
Heh… what goes “up” must come “down”, right?
October 6th, 2007 at 8:02 am
Thank you for sharing!